Snow.

  

  

Snow day fun with our neighbor friends! :)

Ryland Singing to Brenley.

This morning this is what I heard from the other room. Ryland entered Brenley’s room upon her waking up and started singing to her. :) And yes, she is wearing her life-jacket swimsuit over her PJs… can you say CABIN FEVER! Day three of being iced in!

Zoo Day

A couple of weeks ago we ventured to the zoo with some great friends of ours. It was a lot of fun as you can see by the pictures, they even got to feed a giraffe!!! I love this life that the Lord has richly blessed me with! 

:-)

Condoms. (I’m sure you’ll read this one with a title like that!)

A conversation started on a friends Facebook page the other day about whether or not public schools should offer condoms to students. There was a lot of discussion and a lot of misjudgment in this conversation between a believer in Christ and a non-believer. But, non the less the conversation got me thinking and here are my thoughts on the subject:

WARNING: This is my soapbox, I’m aware of that. Sorry if this is offensive to any of you, it’s not meant to be offensive, just a place for me to get my thoughts out in writing.

My husband and I both "saved" ourselves for marriage. We committed to doing this BEFORE we were even together at the age of 15 and this was based on our personal convictions... not those of our parents or anyone else. It was hard to keep that commitment, but sharing that first experience together on our wedding night was truly incredible. We now have two daughters and I honestly I'm terrified of them becoming teenagers. ;).

I want them to experience the wonderful compassionate grace that the Lord gives us. He loves us regardless of our moral decisions and he fully understands the temptations we face. I pray for them daily, that they will find a relationship with the Lord that is personal to them, not something they do to make me happy. I will encourage them to follow there dreams, to listen to their heart, and to think with their brain. But I will also teach them that our authority comes from our Creator and because we love Him will follow Him.

We will send them to public school so that they will have to make choices that are hard and experience the depravity of this world while still living in our home. I am not against homeschool or private school, this is just a decision we feel firmly about in regards to our children. I want to shelter and protect my children from the world, but I also know that it is my role to teach them how to live in this world and not of it. We want to do this while they are in our care and give them the opportunity to own their faith and choices themselves. This scares me to no end, but I know that the Lord loves my babies more then I could ever love them. He will stir their hearts and call them to be His children. They will be faced with all of the same things facing teenagers today and sometimes they will make the wrong decisions. They will get hurt. They will experience pain. I will do my best to comfort them, and I will always point them back to the One who gives the eternal comfort and covers all of our weaknesses with His strength. Yes, it is my job to protect them, but more importantly it is my job to teach them and I don’t want to shelter them from everything in this world, I want to use it to teach them more about our Lord.

The choice to abstain from sex before marriage is not one that is made in the moment. It is made long before the moment happens, so that when the temptation comes the decision is already there. I do not believe that if condoms are readily available to them that they will just choose to go a head and have sex. If they are going to have sex, they will make that choice with or without a condom. I also do not believe that non-Christians should be held to the strict moral standard that the bible lays out for us. The standard that Christians live by is because we fully love the Lord, not because we want favor or merit from Him. We can never be good enough to enter His presence without His covering of grace, which is that of Jesus dying on the cross and shedding his blood as the eternal sacrifice for our sins. Why should we expect people who do not know Christ to hold to our same moral standard?

I will not fear that because the school my children go to hands out condoms that my children are then going to become sexually active. Although they might still choose that path anyway, it will not be the fault of the school. It is our responsibility as parents to raise them in such a way to understand the gospel, to hear the Lords call on their life, to pursue Him in all that they do, to live daily making choices that honor Him. They will fail. I fail. But, I don’t choose to shelter them from the fallen world right outside our door. I open the door and take every opportunity I can to teach them and show them how to live in accordance with the scriptures.

Giving out condoms to the kids that are going to have sex anyway is something that is probably a good thing. In the end, the Lord will use all of our decisions for His glory and usually our sanctification, but that doesn’t mean the world can’t give options to those that are living of the world. I also wonder what kind of impact it would have on teenage abortions. If condoms were available to them, would the rate of abortions go down? If so, and I believe it would, then heck yes, I am all over giving condoms to those that are going to have sex, if it means saving the life of an unborn baby. Again, why would I expect the public school my child goes to, to uphold the Christ centered standard of living that I have implemented in my home?

Here is a nugget from my life, I saw condoms in junior high and it did not make me want to run out and have sex. I had condoms in my dorm room at college (as a Resistant Assistant for a state college dorm, we had to give them to anyone who asked for one) and during those two years before Kyle and I were married, the condoms did not make me want to just have sex anyway. I already understood the magnitude of that decision and the beauty that the Lord had created in sex that could not be experienced outside the marriage walls. It is not simply an act to satisfy a human need, it is a gift and such a beautiful one, given to a husband and wife. 

By the time my children enter high school they will know and understand all of the standards we expect from them. They will also know that the schools expect less and for them, that is not OK. They will own the choices and be encouraged to make the right ones in the sight of the Lord, not just for us as their parents.

I am really actually not looking forward to all of this, but I know that the Lord gave these two babies to us as their parents and raising them will be our journey into sanctification. Parenting needs to be just as intentional as everything else in my life. I will not shy away from the difficult conversations. I will not hesitate to say “I don’t know” lets seek the Lord out for that answer. I am already praying for the days to come, but I know He is sufficient in everything and will help Kyle and I on our journey to parenthood and He will fill in the gaps that we leave along the way.

(PS – both Kyle and I had some pretty darn awesome parents that loving showed us the truths of the Lord and lived them out daily for us growing up. We were both blessed to be raised in a Christ-centered homes that focused more on Christ then it did on judgment and we are forever grateful for the examples we have in parenting our children)

What are your thoughts about condoms in public high schools?

Just Sayin’

Just wanted to let you know that we are still among the living and I have not given up on blogging. We have been computer less for about two months now… and well… it’s pretty darn hard to blog without a computer. So, I am happy to say that we now have new computer and I will be blogging my little heart out very soon… as soon as I figure out how to use our new computer! Hee hee! :)

Consider This.

Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful. 

James 5:11

Life.

Life has gotten in the way of blogging... but it's better that I neglect the blog and not my family. :) I will revisit you when I get around to it. Thanks for standing by.

Update

Yesterday we met with a surgen about Brenley's Dermoid Tumor that I wrote about in this post. He is confident that it is just that, a Dermoid, also called Dermoid Cyst. He thinks we should remove it, but wants to do a CT scan before proceeding. It is located on the left side of her head, about two inches behind her ear, which happens to be fairly close to the second, small soft spot on the back of her skull. He said that when a Dermoid is close to the soft spot or directly on the soft spot it is common that they have roots (tenticales) into the skull and possibly brain. So, he ordered the CT scan to see if that is the case. If it is, then we will be referred to a Neurosurgen. If not, which he feels strongly like there are not roots, then we will proceed with the surgery to remove it.

The CT scan is scheduled for April 6th and I am quite anxious about this day. They said they will give her a sedative to relax her for the procedure, but if she is not still enough they will need to put her under. We will not know until that moment so we need to prepare her as though she will be put under. That means she cannot eat past 4:30am - BRUTAL! Not feeding my baby for over 6 hours will probably be the longest 6 hours of my life! AND we have to go in an hour early to have a dye put in the spot they are looking at... keeping a STARVING baby calm enough to go through a CT scan seems almost impossible to me.

After the scan we will decide how to proceed. IF there are no roots then we can take our time removing it. We can wait as long as we'd like assuming it does not get bigger. I don't know what we will choose at that point. The surgery itself is pretty easy, but yet again she will need to be put under. So, we will be praying for wisdom.

Ryland on the other hand, is doing great. She is still taking her steroid inhaler four times a day, but our goal of keeping her well for a month has worked. It's been almost six weeks and she has not needed her other inhaler at all! We are just about done with staying away from other kiddos, so we will see if her immune system was able to recover AND if the steroid inhaler is working.

Thanks for your prayers. It was actually quite humbling to go into the hospital yesterday. There were SO many other kids there and several babies that were definalty worse off then us. It was a welcomed perspective that the Lord gave me. We are all His children and He does ALL things for His glory. My journey must be about giving Him all of me and not about figuring out how I can help my babies.

Vacation @ Aunt Tal's

Here are a few pictures of our stay at Aunt Tal's. We had a great time and made some wonderful memories... one in particular was Ryland getting to take a bath in Aunt Tal's swimming pool! :)

Snow Day

SNOW hit this past weekend and man... apparently we broke every record in the book for DFW with this snow fall! It was crazy! At 1:15 am on Friday morning our power went out. It was so cold, all four of us ended up sleeping in the same bed. This is the scene we woke up to on Friday morning. Literally could only get out of the driveway one way and that way was blocked by another tree in the road. So, our neighbor helped us cut down the big branch just so we could get out, mean while we took advantage and played in the snow a little while. We were able to make it to my sweet sisters house, where we spent the night in her one bedroom apartment... that was fun! ;) We finally got electricity back Saturday late evening and were able to have a full 8 hours of sleep (thanks Brenley)! Now all Ryland can talk about is "her" snow and how much fun it was. :)

Sactification Through Marriage

Our church is amazing and our pastor is a vessel used by the Lord to "yell" truths into our lives. He did a sermon on Sanctification through Marriage.... sheesh... not an easy sermon for me to hear, but OH MY how it convicted me! For several weeks now I have been working through the things he said and the things that are so desperately needing change in my life.

But for now, I know this to be true: Kyle cannot "save" me from my tiredness, or my messy house, or my overflowing trash can, or my laundry piled high, or my leaf covered front yard... yes he can help with those things, but there will always be MORE to do and MORE "saving" needed. My saving comes from God alone! No matter if my husband is an "idiot at times" - Matt's words not mine - the Lord still feels sorry for him because he has to live with ME (the overbearing, contentious woman that Proverbs talks about)!!!

Please go listen to this sermon. You will be affected and I hope you heed to His calling on your life.

Kyle - I love you for the wonderful man you are! You have provided richly for our family. You listen to me with understanding ears. You give direction to me when I am not listening to the Lord. You encourage me in my weaknesses. You challenge me in my strengths. Your commitment to our family is something I look up to. I am so thankful that the Lord ordained you to be my husband and gifted me with your life. I love you!

Ironing

Just in case you hate ironing as much as I do, try this: 

It will change your ironing life forever!

***I know Kyle is happy! :)

clear nail polish

According to Real Simple, 5 uses for clear nail polish:

1. Keep an eyeglass screw in place. If your glasses are a bit wobbly, tighten the screws and top them off with a dollop of polish.

2. Secure buttons. Apply a thin layer of polish to the center of a button to keep the thread from coming loose.

3. Avoid rust stains in the bathroom. Coat the bottom of a shaving-cream can to fend off rings on the ledge of the tub.

4. Seal an envelope. When a flap won't stay stuck, find closure with clear polish.

5. Extend the life of jewelry. Paint a thin coat onto a costume bauble to prevent it from losing its luster.

Junk

(simple home basics)

I am residing myself to the simple fact that my junk drawer will NEVER look like this! I think that I am rebelling against the idea of an organized junk drawer... because junk is NOT organizable!

Bummed

So, I have tried to upload the most adorable video of Ryland for the past four days without success. Sorry! This really has put me in a mood about my blog. But I will try and reconcile. For now, here is the update on your sweet thing:

• Ryland is officially walking! Not all the time, but when she wants to she can, very slowly. :)
• She says lots of words: Hi, Bye-bye, No-no, Dada, Mama, Gucky (yucky), Yes, Dank-ooo (thank you).
• Animal noises: Cow, Dog, Cat, Sheep, Duck, Chicken, Horse (sometimes)
• She LOVES to eat! And she eats almost anything these days. She is totally into feeding herself, which means, I can't help and meal time takes about an hour! :)
• She loves to say "Hi" to everyone that walks by us in the store or in the Dr office. It is the cutest thing ever. She will actually say hi and progressively get louder until that person looks at her and smiles.
• She really is just easy going! Our days consist of playtime, bath time, nap time, going outside and meals and she is perfectly happy to do any of those things.

Here is the update on the baby front, I am 11 weeks this week and I am feeling great! Last week go got to hear the wonderfully beautiful heartbeat and see the tiny little one wiggling around in my womb. It was so cool! I am showing a little even now, and this is a lot sooner then I showed with Ryland... but they say that is normal. I feel like I have gained 20 lbs, but it was only 2. We are starting to talk about our options for everything right now, should we get a bigger house? what room will the baby have? will Ryland still be in her crib? and a million more... but its so much fun!

Sick, Sleep, Cleaning, and Relaxing

Sorry it has been awhile since posting, but this whole pregnancy thing with a one year old seems to be kicking my butt.... too say the least. And, I think for every one's sake that it is better that I give up posting so at least something around the house can get done or food can be made or something a little more productive can happen.

I have been sick with this one. I was not sick at all with Ryland. I remember feeling qweezy a few times, but not sick. I have not actually thrown up, but I feel like I am right on the verge ALL day. I even carry the trash can with me everywhere, just in case. This would not be so bad IF I didn't have to entertain, feed, change and nurture my sweet baby all day long. I think the main issue that I am having is keeping my blood sugar where it should be. Before this week I was nursing Ryland 3-4 times a day which I don't think my body was handling very well on top of being pregnant. After talking with both my doctor and Ryland's doctor I have decided to ween her. I didn't think that it would be hard for me, but it kind of has been more emotional then I expected. (Sorry if this is TMI for some of you). I know that I gave Ryland the best start at life that I could. I was able to nurse her for a whole year and during that year she has never been sick! But I don't know if I am just hormonal or sad that this chapter in our life is over and those thousands of quite, sweet moments Ryland and I won't happen the same way they have over this year. Probably a combination of both, but I am comforted by the fact that I know I am giving my body to this next baby and giving this next baby the best start to life that I possibly can.

The other hard part about our life right now is Ryland is NOT a good sleeper! Before this week I was nursing her for every nap and bed time and every time she woke up at night (between 2 and 6 times a night!!!!). OK, so maybe its not Ryland, its that her parents were not good "Sleep Trainers" and really it worked for us until she got older and fought us more.

Well, this week has been pretty major in our lives. She is now only nursing once a day, right before bed time, and we have begun sleep training! Last night was the first night and it went better then I expected, tonight has gone even better thus far. So we will see! Our goal is for by the end of this week that she will know how to put herself to sleep!

So, for the past three days I have actually been feeling a little better and not so completely drained. One of the sweet girls from my small group said to me last Wednesday, "OK, I'm coming over tomorrow, what time do you wake up? I'll be there at 8:45am!" At first I was like, NO WAY, you are NOT coming over to my house to see it and its state!!!! I got the "cool-I'm-under-control-face" on and said thanks but no thanks and she said, "nope, I'm coming, put me to work, give me Ryland, or whatever, but I'm coming." So, she came. She saw my house in the horrible state that is was and didn't judge me. She just smiled and asked me what she could do. So, she played with Ryland while I cleaned like a mad-woman! It was SO fabulous! I was feeling great and getting SO much accomplished while I listened to the sweet laughter's of my baby in the other room! Thanks Katie, you rock!

Today Kyle and I just relaxed in the house and I enjoyed having him home to myself (and Ryland). It was refreshing. She even took a 3 hour nap this afternoon!!!! We strolled around the mall, had some amazing ice cream and just enjoyed each other. I felt so good because my house was clean, I didn't have to feel guilty doing something so fun! :)

Poem, written by Kyle

I found this poem that Kyle wrote sometime while we were dating. Man, how could I not fall completely in love with this man!

Sitting alone, my heart whisked upon her, and like a star from heaven she fell into my life.

A love that healed more passion then the world around, captivated my soul.

Her eyes beheld the love of all the angels, and her soul the likeness of Christ.

Her hands are like the touch of fire, that burned my inner being.

Her gentleness envelopes me, and a warmth captures my heart like nothing ever before.

Offering to be a candle in my darkest nights, she shelters me from the angry world around.

She is the blessing that heaven bestowed on me, and the desire that floods my heart.

Her ears listen to my hearts cry, and she comforts me when the pain is unbearable.

She reaches in and fills the void, that once left my life longing.

Her presence causes me to be oblivious to the sound of anothers voice.

Her voice soothes the tears that once kept me chained.

She is my fair maiden, and she is God's plan for my life.

On top of things

Alright, I don't want to speak too soon, but I really feel "on top of things" this week. OK, there have been days in the past 10 months that I have "felt on top of things" but those days just never seem to turn into weeks. And right now I can say for the past two weeks I have actually stayed on top of all my house work and was actually dresses and put together before noon every day! I am not really sure where to pin point the change, but there are a few things that I have changed that help me to not feel so overwhelmed:

1. We cleaned out our closets two weekends ago, and for some reason it seems easier to keep my house clean with the closets organized. Its amazing when everything really does have a place to go.
2. I am taking long, hot, candle lite showers at night after Ryland goes to sleep. First, this completely relaxes me and second, it allows me to just do my hair and make-up in the morning. Most days taking a shower was so overwhelming to me. I hated to try and figure out what to do with Ryland and I also hated wasting a nap time to do it.
3. I am waking up when Kyle does in the morning. I used to sleep in as long as I could and that was just plain laziness. Actually waking up before 8am is really nice because I feel like I have a whole day, not just a few hours of sunlight.
4. I do a load of laundry a day. This really helps me stay on top of it and it is a whole lot easier to put away in small amounts!
5. TURN OFF THE TV!!!!! I have officially turned the TV off until Kyle comes home. Well, Ryland watches a little in the morning with breakfast and then its off. This is great for me... I am no longer sucked in and I feel so much more productive! If you know me at all, you know this was a hard one for me, but I love it now that I have done it!
6. Playtime outside! Ryland and I play with our neighbors, Laura (the mom) and Zach the baby in the pumpkin pictures almost every day. The sunlight and fresh air really do wonderful things for all of us!
7. Reading my bible. OK, this probably shouldn't be #7 on the list, but I am just going in order of my thoughts, not priorities. :) I have been spending an hour every morning in Rylands room. We turn on worship music, she plays on the floor and I read my bible. I LOVE this hour and I feel so fed right now, its a great spot to be.
8. I spend a lot of time thinking about ways I can bless Kyle. I can easily get consumed with Ryland and housekeeping that I forget my husband in the mix. So, I have come up with a list of ways to let him know I am thinking about him. But I would LOVE some more things to add to the list! Do you have any suggestions?

Wishing I had more to post

I have been sitting here checking email and facebooking all the while trying to think of something, anything to post. And still, nothing. So I thought I would just start typing and see what came out. :) (Could be scary!!!)

So, our life has been really full these days. Full as in, we are so busy and loving every minute of it! We have been hang out with the people from our small group a lot lately and it is so nice. We have been apart of this small group for quite sometime now, but there is something about adulthood that I never knew until we moved to Dallas.

You see, my whole life has been spent in school where your circle of friends is right there and its easy. We moved to Dallas and become adults (essentially) and friendships have not been so easy anymore. Now that the convince of school (and work for me) is gone, I have realized that I have to put in the effort to make friends (and keep them). What? No one told me this... I thought friendships would be easy and life long, really I did. Its really a strange phenomenon that I am realizing.

So, back to our small group, we have been meeting for quite some time and I love all of them and even though I've heard their testimonies and such, sometimes it felt like we still didn't really know each other. But, now, after spending more and more time together I truly feel bonded to these people. I love them. I cherish them. I look forward to Wednesdays and weekends. Its great to feel connected to people.

On another note, our marriage is great right now. I mean, its always 'great' but right now its GREAT. We are totally clicking, like I know what he's thinking and well, he'll never really know what I'm thinking, but he's good at guessing. We are friends. We play cards and hangman and look at million dollar houses on the Internet after Ryland falls asleep. We love doing things together and for one another.

Kyle is doing so great at his job right now and he is really enjoying it. God has really gifted him with the ability to talk to people and truly care for them. He has compassion for those that sit at his desk day after day. He enjoys the people he works with and his boss knows exactly how to motivate him, even if that means getting him a video game (hi Jackie!) ;).

Ryland is just the best baby we could ask for. I am so in love with her I can't stand it! Everyday she just amazes me. She plays all day long just talking to herself and laughing at things. She is crawling all over the house and pulling up on everything. She is even cruising along the couch. She has one tooth poking through and has found her screaming voice (not been so fun). She is just wonderful! I already can't wait to have another one (well, I can wait... I am waiting... but who knows for how long). :)

Thank you Lord for these good times and thank you for the not good times that we will have, because you are the giver and the taker. You have woven our lives together for Your glory. May our laughter and our tears praise your name!

Just blink

I'm 4 years old and in the kitchen in our apartment in Albuquerque. I know that I need Jesus in my heart, I know that I am a sinner and I will not go to Heaven. My mom leads me in a prayer and I am born a new.

Blink

I'm 15 and Kyle is sitting on a hill outside a church in Berthed, Colorado. He is telling me that he loves me and that he thinks I'm the one he is supposed to marry. I am shocked and probably not ready to hear his words. He is pouring his soul out to me and I am not ready to drink.

Blink

On my 17th birthday, I'm ready. Kyle asks my Dad if he can court me and hopes to marry me one day. We are sitting around the dinner table, My parents, sister, Kyle's family and Grandma, all listening to Kyle talk about his love for me, and we were only 17.... what did we know about love!?

Blink

August 24, 2002, Kyle asked me to marry him. Beautifully and perfectly he again told me all about his love and why he could not live without me.

Blink

June 14, 2003, we pledged our lives to each other. Forever our souls would be united as one. This was the first day to the rest of our history.

Blink

Memorial Day Weekend of 2007, WHAT? We are pregnant?

Blink

January 10, 2008, the day could not have been more perfect. Our sweet Ryland Shay took her first breath and was laid on my chest. Her sweet cry. Her small feet. Her beautiful face. Her life has changed ours forever.

Blink

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