We have recently been in this lovely stage of “No!” I know partly it’s do to her being two and she is figuring out how things work in this world. I’m sure it can be confusing and frustrating for her, but the fact is that I am her mother and I’m to be training her and raising her to respect authority.
Here is how it normally works itself out. I ask her to do something like, “Ryland come here so I can change your diaper.” Ryland, “No!” “Ok then, walk yourself over to time-out.” She grunts or whines and goes to time-out. In our house, time-out is the mat at the front door. Which makes it easy when we are at someone else's house, it’s just the nearest rug that she can sit on.
After she sits there for a little while, usually until she stops fussing, I ask her why she got time-out. “Because I said no.” “And what should you say instead when mommy’s asks you to do something?” “Yes Ma’am.” “Ok, come over here.” “Yes Ma’am.”
This routine has been happening for several days now. Understand this, I am NOT against spanking, but I use that very rarely. I always try time-out first, because it gives her time to think about what she did and how to act differently, and usually that is what works for her. But when time-outs are not working or the situation calls for it, spanking is something that Kyle and I have agreed to do. It’s only one swat to the behind and not even very hard to tell you the truth, just enough to get her attention and kind of “snap” her out of the tantrum she is having. Like I said, that is very rare and prayerfully contemplated before doing it.
This situation, I do not believe, calls for spanking, yet. She is not being defiant in that she won’t go to time-out, she is just simply choosing to say “no” even though she knows she should say “yes ma’am.”
I know that this is something that we will struggle with her whole life. She might learn to eventually not just flat out say “no” but she will learn other ways to be defiant, even when she knows the right thing to do.
How often do we do this with our own relationships with our Heavenly Father!?!? He puts a yearning in our hearts, or an action that He wants from us and we either flat out say “no” or we are more advanced in our thinking and hope he’s not watching us defy Him.
I think for me it comes down to a false since of control. I think I have everything under control and I don’t need to bother the Lord. Or why is He asking me to do this, when I am already doing X, Y and Z? Fact of the matter is He loves us. Similar to how I love Ryland. I want her to learn to respect me and understand that I have the best in mind for her. That what I am asking her to do is not harming her, it will help her.
“For God has not called us for impurity, but holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his holy Spirit to you.” 1 Thessalonians 4:7-8
The Lord does this the same for us. He asks for our time. He asks even knowing that might mean you give up precious hours of sleep for Him. And yet, He knows that He is more needed then your sleep.
He asks for our witness. That our neighbors, co-workers, friends hear about His Son and the saving grace that awaits them. Yet it might mean making you feel awkward, it might actually mean you loose some friends. But He loves and cares for you that He would invite you to share in the joy of seeing a life turn around.
He asks for self control. He asks that you control your behaviors, even when others don’t see it. That might be what your feeding your soul from your computer screen or your TV. It might mean holding back from going there or being around that. Or it might simply mean that you begin to beat your body into submission by being intentional about your time and investing heavily in Him.
“Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly, myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in everyway, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” 1 Timothy 4:7-8
But, why do we constantly act like my two-year-old and try to figure out what His reaction is going to be, and instead just doing what He asks?
And what does His punishment look like as believers? Maybe He leaves us alone in our disobedience in hopes that the absence of His presence will drive us back to Him. Or maybe He shakes things up around us to get our attention and “snaps” us back into obedience.
Either way, He calls and we need to listen.
“Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not know see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory. Obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” 1 Peter 1:8-9
